Jessica and Joshua present : I will make you gullible : 6 easy steps for complete freedom from material evils.
1. Transfer all of your property into our names. Our legal team will help to dissolve any connection between you and this property, thereby freeing you of the lingering chains of materialism
2. Quit your job. Jobs, by their nature, bring in money, and money leads to materialism.
3. Cut ties with all family members. This is a simple preventative step to stop misguided relations attempting to come to your aid and tainting you with wealth.
4. Distance yourself from any remaining friends. HANDY HINT- insulting their taste, spouse, or personal appearance helps to break the ice when first starting out.
5. Transfer all your remaining wealth into our personal account, set up especially to protect you from temptation. This penultimate step is the hardest, but once completed will leave you feeling lighter than air, and finally free from material hardships.
6. Remember this helpful exercise to keep you on track. For at least ten minutes a day, find a quiet corner of the park and there stand on one leg, beat yourself over the head with this book, and chant: "I do not need material assets. Material assets kick puppies," until your confidence is reaffirmed. If, due to a build up of negative energy, this does not work, find a heavier book until it does.
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